you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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