I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
