my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
