That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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