Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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