i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
