OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
