Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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