im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
