Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
