Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
