he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize