u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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