And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
