His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
