I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
