Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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