I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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