i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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