Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
