she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
