Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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