Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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