just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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