I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I need moral support for this bender
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
