she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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