I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The struggles of a small town man whore
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
