Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
