just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
