omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
