I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
