no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
