Sry I called you an 8
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
