Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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