You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
