So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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