Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
