he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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