Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My ass is underappreciated
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
