Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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