I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
there is glitter all over my balls
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
