I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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