he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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