so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Green mimosas i think yes
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
