Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
