I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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