you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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