He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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