Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
