I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
