I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
