but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
