I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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