I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
