well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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