After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
